Making and Breaking Friends in LDN

Friends… everybody needs them. I live a long long way from home now and friends are vital to my survival dammit!

Whilst living down saaaaarf I’ve actually made a few new friends (who would have funk it). It was actually when I stopped actively trying to find new friends that I then found new friends (*cue camp northern voice* ‘ohh what am I like?’).

As well as making new mateys I’ve also tried my best to maintain as many of my already well established friendships. These are now scattered all around the UK, mostly uni Mateys, my hometown homies are now as thin as ice. Maintaining friendships becomes a balancing act… One that I’m terrible at. I’m really good at maintaining about two close friendships at a time, anymore and it all falls apart (I’m a donkey… A friendship donkey).

It’s a tough old game. That said some relationships seem absolutely immune to time and distance; Every time you meet up it takes mere moments to kick back into that familiar enjoyable groove (next stop BFF city y’all).

There’s also the ugly, rusty side of the coin (I’m big on terrible metaphors right now). That side is the friendships that unfortunately wither away. Usually for any multitude of possible reasons; Be it lack of effort, distance or maybe you’re now in different places and have essentially outgrown your friendship (who knows, I’m not one to judge).

For me though the absolute worse case scenario is when friendships become toxic. This person is now an unwelcome negative presence in your life. I have experienced this, as I’m sure you have. I’d been friends with this particular person for ages (almost 7 years). Naturally I forgave loads to start with, ‘maybe it was just phase?’  However they then started to develop a real knack for making me feel small. Eventually I got to a point where I decided that I was gonna care less about making everyone else happy and more about being true to myself. Enough was enough, it was time to cut that toxic friend loose and move on. I didn’t/won’t regret it (I live my life in multiple tenses). All negatives aside though (especially from that particularly troublesome last paragraph).

I just want to echo the note I started on, I feel very grateful for the friends I have right now and I wouldn’t change them for the world (well maybe for the world… I wouldn’t change them for other less good friends though… my grammar and vocab needs no improvement I think that’s clear to see).

Anyhow on an absolute last final note (I’m talking absolute zero, fellow science nerds) I promise to write something more manly in my next blog.. Maybe about football… or maybe cars… I don’t actually like cars… Trains are  much much better and more fun… Righhhhhhht I’m off to watch utopia on catch up at 1am in the morning.

Philly out!!!

 

Featured image: http://studentblogs.le.ac.uk/

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12 comments

  1. I just moved out of my hometown, have started a self-employment venture, and therefore am a bit of a Larry when it comes to friends! Embarrassingly enough! Why do people find it embarrassing to talk about anyway?
    Anyhow, I was thinking of writing a post about chums too… hence me commenting on your post… I’ve kinda lost the point of this comment (can you tell?). Is Utopia something I should start watching?

    1. Are you living in sweet London now then? Friends are a toughie. I’ve been known as philly no mates on more than one occasion.

      Also utopia, yes you almost certainly should be watching it. Go back and watch series one first though (only six episodes).

  2. Wow this post is me all over! When I moved to London I actually had more friends than I did when I lived up north. Then I moved and married and my friends from London became the toxic kind and my closest friends live up north and in er, Holland. Friends are strange things. Couldn’t move back up north now though, London is fabulous!

  3. Hey. Good to see a fellow northern on here. I have had those toxic friends before. I aleo had to cut them loose. I instantly felt better and began to appreciate my real friends even more.

    1. This comment, straight up. I made the mistake of choosing poison friends over my real ones. Once the poison ones were gone, the real ones came straight back. You really do appreciate it when you realise who they really are.

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