Being judgemental is something I have always tried to avoid, my mantra has always been live and let live. However I can’t help but notice those damned judgy thoughts creeping in at times… It really grinds my gears. Who am I to comment on the way people decide to live their lives, what makes me some sort of morally impenetrable fortress??? The worrying thing is that its usually ignorance that causes these thoughts, a lack of understanding of their situation or no understanding of what they are going through. These thoughts are harmful.
For some crazy reason we all live by these ridiculous rules set down by society, that if we’re all honest, we know don’t lead to instant happiness. You must have a nice home, you must have a good job, you must have a partner, you must be slim, you must, you must, you must! I constantly berate myself over these ‘life goals’ and if I’m honest I judge other people on them as well.
To achieve one of these ‘goals’, I made (what was to me), the huge leap of moving to London. Whether this was right or wrong I really don’t know, at the time all I know is that I was obsessed with having a good job. I never wanted to move to London, the plan was when I’d finished my degree to live and work in Manchester. I would be living in a reasonably busy city and I would be comfortably close enough to my family back in Bolton. That was the plan, it was a good plan, ingenious in its simplicity. What actually happened was one of the most stressful and upsetting periods of my (obviously sheltered) life. I applied for 100s of jobs and more often than not never heard anything back. I ended up working in a phone shop just to have a bit money. To make things worse, a lot of my friends had finished the year before (I did a four year masters degree) and all of their achievements and adventures were pasted all over Facebook. I regularly partook in Facebook torture sessions. It was obvious I had to do something, so I decided to widen my job search and I started applying in London. Eventually (after a total of 6 months job searching) I did find a job I wanted, working as a audio engineer for a radio station in Waterloo on the south bank in London.
When I’m in a reflective mood and I think back to two years ago (almost to the day) when I made the move down and the overriding theme that jumps to mind is of naivety. I didn’t do anything silly or anything, I’ve always been very sensible, I just question whether I made those decisions for the right reasons. It has been a crazy metamorphic period of my life, no different from many other peoples journeys I’m sure. However I’m now almost 100% certain that this idea of the ‘whole package’ is not healthy, I’m not saying don’t do anything, I personally don’t regret moving to London I absolutely love it now and I can’t see myself living anywhere else. What I am saying is rip up the rule book and make your own way. Be brave and do your own thing, naturally people are going to comment and it will upset you at times, but I honestly believe that the most interesting people are the ones who live life on their own terms
I’d be interested to know what other people think on this? Am I talking complete rubbish or am I bang on?
Philip
One man's adventures in the big wide world! 